Melanie & David

I was 34 and going through a really bad break up. Long before I was a patient of Shady Grove Fertility, I worked in the marketing department. I had the opportunity to work alongside the most amazing physicians who gave me the best advice – you should freeze your eggs, so you have the ability to focus on healing.

I froze my eggs under Dr. Greenhouse’s care. We retrieved 23 eggs, and life moved forward.

Five years after freezing my eggs, I met my person. On our first date, we talked about my desire to have a family. He had two daughters from a previous marriage, so I made it clear that I froze my eggs and wanted to build a family.

We got married in 2018 and started the second part of the process with my frozen eggs.  

The journey of motherhood, full of twists and turns

The next step was easy – 23 eggs turned into 8 embryos. We were getting my body ready for the first embryo when tragedy happened – my SGF doctor (and mentor, co-worker, friend) died suddenly in a jet ski accident. I felt so much grief and loss. We continued on with my first embryo transfer, convinced Dr. Greenhouse was looking over me and it would work.

That didn’t end up happening. First embryo transfer was a loss – we found out after testing that the embryo was chromosomally abnormal.

That first loss was the hardest miscarriage for many reasons. It was intertwined with the loss of Dr. Greenhouse. I felt so much grief and pain. I went in for a D&C and had a really hard time accepting the pregnancy loss. I wanted to hold on to the pregnancy for as long as possible, even though I knew it wasn’t viable. Being wheeled out after it was over, not pregnant, was really tough.

We gave ourselves a little time but wanted to continue since we had 7 embryos left. I didn’t feel confident if it would work but also knew I had to try.

The second embryo just didn’t take.

The third embryo did take but with no heartbeat. Another loss.

The fourth embryo was another pregnancy, and we even graduated from SGF and started seeing my OB/GYN. One morning I woke up and started bleeding and just never stopped. An ultrasound showed no heartbeat. Another loss. Another chromosomally abnormal embryo.

This is when Dr. Browne recommended testing the rest of the embryos to see which ones were chromosomally normal. After that testing, we had 4 left. That would encourage some, but at this point I was wearing down.

We put back a chromosomally normal embryo, but that was another loss too.

Dr. Browne regrouped with us and tried further testing. We found out after an endometrial biopsy I have the markers for endometriosis! I’ve never had a symptom of it, so the news felt crazy. But it also explained the last loss.

My protocol changed – I call it the ‘kitchen sink’ protocol because they threw everything at me. Two months of medically induced menopause to quiet my uterus, then all the fertility medications plus blood thinner and a small dose of steroids.

This time it worked! I wasn’t ready to celebrate and enjoy the pregnancy until I was 25 weeks.

Welcoming my first baby

Luca was born in July 2020. We had embryos left and knew we weren’t done growing our family.

I was in such a happy bubble after Luca was born and wanted to start right away.

Setbacks, resilience, and trying again

When Luca was 16 months old, we had a house fire – lost our house and everything in it. Luckily it happened during dinner time, and I ran out with Luca in my arms and our dog next to us.

We felt we needed to pause having a second child until we felt more stable in a new house.

It’s scary to try again after having the three losses before Luca. We felt confident that SGF found why we had the losses and that their care would help another time around.

The next embryo took! I was still nervous to tell friends and family we were pregnant but at 25 weeks I felt I could finally relax.

On July 13, 2023, Vivienne Joy came one week early via c-section – I had cholestasis of pregnancy, and my OB/GYN wanted me to deliver at 39 weeks.

Recognizing joy and struggle

Bringing her home I thought it would be the same as when I brought my first one home. But the second time around was totally different! I felt like everyone wanted me to just be happy for having the baby, and to suck it up if it was hard. But it was hard! She wasn’t a good sleeper from the beginning. My son was born during Covid and my husband and I were home with him every day. When Vivienne was born my husband was back to work, and I was struggling with managing a newborn and a toddler. I also struggled with a lot of postpartum anxiety.

I had to learn it’s ok to struggle and have bad days. Just like when you’re trying to conceive you need support, you may also need support when you’re successful and have the baby home.

Advice to others considering egg freezing

Looking back, freezing my eggs was the best decision I could have made for myself. At the time, I didn’t know what my future held, but I knew I wanted the option to have a family when the timing was right. It gave me the space to heal, to grow, and to wait until I met the right person.

If you’re thinking about egg freezing, I would tell you this: Do it for yourself. Do it to give yourself options, to take control of your future, and to remove the pressure of an unknown timeline. The process isn’t always easy, but neither is wondering if you’ll regret not taking the chance.

Now, as I look at my two beautiful children, I’m reminded of the power of proactive family planning. Freezing my eggs gave me choices. It gave me hope. And ultimately, it gave me the family I of my dreams.