Lisa & Chris

Chris and I started dating in 2004. We were introduced to each other by a mutual friend. We were both former college athletes and we both were coaching youth teams at the time. We had so much in common; we hit it off right away. We dated for five years. I wasn’t sure if I wanted children until I met Chris.

Being a teacher, he was naturally good with kids. He was so great with my nephews. I knew he would be a wonderful father one day and I finally knew I wanted to have children and have them with him. Preferably two by the time I was 32. I was a planner and a list maker; I had everything mapped out. We were married in 2009 and started trying right away.

After a year and a half of trying, we went to Shady Grove Fertility to get tested after being referred by my OB/GYN. I was very disappointed when we could not get pregnant at first. I was one of the last of my friends to get married and the last to have a child. This was not in my plan. Most of my friends had two or three children at this point. I was getting older and I was feeling as though time was running out. To our surprise, we were three weeks pregnant at our first appointment. How ironic and wonderful.

Shady Grove Fertility followed the first several weeks of my pregnancy. When we finally were expecting the first time, we were ecstatic and told everyone, but when we went in for my eight-week there wasn’t a heartbeat. We were devastated. I didn’t think I would be unfortunate enough to miscarry.

Having to tell everyone you had a miscarriage is not fun. I didn’t want anyone to feel sorry for me or to feel uncomfortable. I remember exactly what we were wearing and how quiet the room was and the sorrow we felt in our hearts. I called my mom as soon as I got in the car and I couldn’t stop crying. How could this happen?

I was told miscarriages are common, especially with a first pregnancy. This information didn’t make me feel any better. A few months later we tried again and found out we were pregnant again. We had three more miscarriages over the next two years. Having a baby consumed us and our thoughts day and night.

Our marriage was starting to suffer because we were only focusing on what we didn’t have instead of what we did have. We tried again for over a year and didn’t have any success, so we went back to see if we could move forward with intrauterine insemination (IUI) or in vitro fertilization (IVF).

Deciding to start treatment

We went back to SGF to get tested and we had unexplained infertility. I was happy that there wasn’t anything wrong with either of us, but how could two healthy people not be able to have a child? If there was something wrong with either of us, they could fix it and we could move on.

With unexplained infertility, there isn’t a real diagnosis, so there is no problem to correct. What if I miscarried again? After all of this time, we still didn’t have an answer.

Waiting for news

Those few weeks after treatment dragged on. Did it work? I couldn’t wait to find out. You start planning and making lists. I waited for the phone call after the testing and I received the dreaded call that I wasn’t pregnant. We met with Dr. Katz again and we wanted to go straight to IVF because I had a work conflict, but Dr. Katz suggested we try another round of IUI.

I was going to be away for a week for work and I was not going to be able to get the monitoring that I would have if I was home. I thought it was a waste of time and my chances of success with IVF were much higher. I didn’t want to get my hopes up and have another failed IUI.

My IUI experience was great though. The staff was so kind. I had been going to Shady Grove Fertility for a few years on and off and the staff knew me and they were always very friendly. The process was time-consuming, though. I was working in D.C. and going to the Towson office. I ended up finding a job in Baltimore during the process because it became overwhelming with the blood tests and checkups. I didn’t like injecting myself either. For the second IUI, I had a friend who was a nurse help me with my injections because I was afraid I was not doing it correctly.

Welcoming our miracle

Thankfully, we followed Dr. Katz’s advice for that second IUI, because we now have a beautiful five-month-old baby boy.

Everyone was so kind and positive throughout our journey. We spent almost four years working with SGF to have our miracle. We wanted to throw in the towel a few times, but we are so thankful we stuck with it, and also for all of the support from our wonderful friends and family.

We are over the moon in love with our baby boy. He is so much fun and we are enjoying every moment with him. We love being parents and cherish every day together as a family.

Advice for future patients

Stay positive; it can be hard at times, but focus on what you do have instead of what you don’t. Use your support system; keep a small circle of positive people around you that want what is best for you. Make time for each other, laugh with each other, and remember nothing goes as planned no matter how many lists you make. Life is one big emotional, crazy roller coaster. Trust in the staff at Shady Grove Fertility and don’t give up.