Lauren & Josh 

Before having kids, I used to teach spin and barre while working as an attorney full time. My plate was definitely full. Josh also worked long hours. We both love to travel and Josh loves to cook (and I love to eat) so we lead very, very busy lives (especially before children). However, we always make time for each other and that hasn’t changed. 

When we first began trying to conceive, we tried for about a year to get pregnant and then realized we’d likely need some support. So, after a couple of intrauterine inseminations (IUIs), we decided to try in vitro fertilization (IVF). However, the week my cycle was supposed to start was the first week of lockdown, so our cycle was canceled. Ironically, we got pregnant naturally two weeks later! Our daughter, Lilly, was both on Christmas Day! She’s our little Christmas miracle. 

I was in my late 30s when we started trying for our second and I knew my chances of conceiving would only continue to drop as I got older. I also had severe endometriosis and low ovarian reserve so it felt like all signs were pointing to the probability of not conceiving again. Statistically, I knew it would be tough (if not, impossible). 

Nevertheless, in 2021 we started trying for a second baby. I had been having terrible cramping-like contractions, which I thought were normal in the year or so after you have a baby. I was wrong. When the pain didn’t go away, I called Dr. Schumacher and her team suggested I come in for an ultrasound. It turns out, I had major scarring in my cervix which resulted in a significant amount of old blood trapped in my uterus. The pain I was experiencing was my body trying to expel the blood. I felt validated knowing something wasn’t right with my body but given the bad scarring, I realized that having another baby might not be in the cards for me. Before I could even think about trying for a second baby, however, we had to treat my scarring and pain. To that end, Dr. Schumacher suggested I undergo surgery to remove the blood.   

The surgery was a success and after I healed, we decided to start actively trying. After a few failed intrauterine inseminations (IUIs), we began prepping my body for in vitro fertilization (IVF). We started our IVF cycle, however, halfway through, we decided to cancel it. My body was responding so much to the medication that it had the opposite effect and only created two or three follicles (less than my baseline). This was not the news I was hoping for but I didn’t let it slow me down. 

Making a new plan

We decided to try Clomid (a much milder medication) during the next round. My body responded very positively to this medication and ended up producing 12 follicles, which was great (and very surprising) for me!

My retrieval was a success; we got eight eggs, six of which fertilized. Of those six, two made it to embryos (an AA female and an AB male). I was over the moon especially given my low ovarian reserve. We then froze them so we could adequately prepare my body for a frozen embryo transfer (FET).

Everything we hoped for

As the time drew nearer for the transfer, I underwent a few hysteroscopies which demonstrated that my cervix was extremely weak to the extent that it was likely unable to carry a baby. This was difficult to process, and I started feeling really defeated. Thankfully, Dr. Schumacher quickly put a plan in place, and I ended up undergoing abdominal cerclage surgery to support my cervix and hopefully help me maintain a healthy pregnancy. The cerclage surgery was a success and because of the cerclage, my cervix was strong enough to carry a baby! So, after about a month, we underwent the FET with the AA female.

Luckily, I didn’t have any pregnancy complications. I really embraced my pregnancy because I was particularly proud of what my body achieved. I delivered my daughter on May 9th at 39 weeks via c-section. Her name is Pearl Kinsley and she’s everything we hoped for! 😊

Life is hectic but happy. We’re embracing the chaos and trying to stay present. We worked soooo hard to get to this point so we’re celebrating it as much as we can. Baby Pearl is a dream! She’s a phenomenal sleeper and a great eater. I feel very lucky but I also recognize how hard my mind and body worked to achieve these results. It was a long, long journey full of many surgeries, medication, doubt, varying care strategies, bad news, good news, excitement, disappointment and discomfort. But, we made it.

Advice for future patients

My advice for future patients is to practice positive thinking. As you can see, I suffered from almost every fertility issue under the sun. It’s easy to go down dark rabbit holes and think about the most terrible things. In the beginning of my journey, I found myself constantly doing that, which only added to my stress. Added stress serves zero purpose and only exacerbates existing stress so I had to figure out a solution: I had to figure out how to regulate my thoughts so that they only helped me (not harmed me). I did some research and found an approach that really worked for me. Basically, I started acknowledging my concerns/fears and then once I accepted that they existed, I visualized them drifting away (think of a dark cloud floating away from you).

I had to realize that, unfortunately, negative thoughts exist and ignoring them is unproductive. Instead, my recommendation is to notice them, acknowledge them and then let them pass. I really had to work hard to train my mind to accept them and then release them but, ultimately, it made my experience much better. Don’t let negative thinking engulf you or dictate your mindset. Don’t let it play a role in your experience. Don’t let it alter your perspective or take over. In other words, let it exist without overtaking your thoughts. Don’t suppress negative thoughts but don’t give them any power. You deserve a baby so don’t let negativity stand in your way!