Ashley & Ryan

My husband, Ryan, and I met playing softball for the Ocean City Police Department, where we were both employed in the summer of 2007 and dated for four years before we were married on July 23, 2011. We both have always wanted to have children, and we started trying immediately after our wedding.

All of my girlfriends were using an app on their phone to track their periods so they knew when they were ovulating. One by one they became pregnant, and I continued to wait. Some months I wouldn’t get my period at all, so after a year of trying unsuccessfully on our own, we knew it was time to look for help. We took the first step and reached out to Shady Grove Fertility and scheduled our initial consultation with Dr. Jason Bromer

Getting answers

We met with our doctor and started testing immediately. We did a lot of blood work and a Hysterosalpingogram (HSG) test. It was determined that I had PCOS. I thought it would be an easy fix, and we would quickly be ready to get started on our journey. After additional testing, we returned to Shady Grove Fertility for our follow-up appointment.

It was at this time that we found out that we didn’t have only one obstacle in our way of becoming pregnant but two: Ryan’s semen analysis showed he had a low sperm count, resulting in male factor infertility. I was devastated with this additional news; I choked through the tears because I knew our journey was not going to be easy. However, I’ve always believed that the longer you have to wait for something, the more you will appreciate it when it finally arrives.

Getting started with treatment

We immediately began treatment in January 2013 with an Intrauterine Insemination (IUI). We were so excited at the possibility that we could soon be parents. Our hearts were soon crushed after our first failed IUI, but we continued two more times – only to have our hearts broken twice more. We decided that it would be best to take a break before moving on to In Vitro Fertilization (IVF).

Not only does Infertility take a toll on your body physically but I quickly learned it also affects you both emotionally and mentally, not to mention financially. In August of 2013, we finally decided to start IVF. At this point, I must have cried a million tears already. We continued to struggle, dealing with our insurance company, but Delphina at the Shady Grove Fertility Frederick office helped us through the entire process until finally we received our approval; we were ready to start.

It was a very stressful process, and after enduring weeks of shots and medication, it was time for our egg retrieval. Since IVF is demanding on the body, we decided to freeze our remaining embryos so we would be able to do a Frozen Embryo Transfer (FET) instead of having to complete another fresh IVF cycle. We had two embryos to freeze.

Two weeks later, on September 20, 2013 we got the news we had been waiting to hear for two years: “You’re pregnant”. We were beyond ecstatic! We were successful with our first cycle of IVF and finally, we were going to be parents. Almost immediately after receiving the greatest news, however, things started to fall apart. I did not have an easy pregnancy and began to bleed every day. At my six-week ultrasound, it was determined that I had a hematoma that was causing the bleeding. I continued to have hope that I would still have a successful pregnancy. At my eight-week ultrasound, my hematoma was gone and I graduated from SGF. We thought this is it! We’re going to be parents.

It was the happiest that I had been in years. However, that all ended at my nine-week ultrasound when I found out that we miscarried; we were devastated. I was broken and my husband, devastated. We took some time off for my body to heal and my head and my heart to be able to tolerate our loss before moving forward. We are thankful that we have two frozen embryos waiting for us because IVF was difficult, and our next attempt hopefully won’t be so demanding. We will be doing another frozen embryo transfer soon. We continue to be optimistic and hopeful that one day we will experience the joys of being parents.

Spreading the word to help others

I have become a huge advocate for infertility. I think it’s important for people to know all of the options available to them, and people are often surprised by the cost of treatment. I am looking forward to participating again in “The Walk of Hope” this year, spreading awareness that we are 1 in 8 couples with infertility. I never give up hope that one day we will have our family, but in the meantime, I love the family I have with all my heart (my husband and our two fur babies, Drake and Remi).

I have had two friends “come out to me” after hearing my story and I have referred them both to Shady Grove Fertility. I tell them to never give up hope, and we are all very supportive of each other’s treatments. Our motto is “All good things are worth waiting for and worth fighting for.” I know that I am in the right place and that one day we will have the family we have always dreamed of. The more pain you have to endure on your journey, the sweeter the arrival at your destination… soon we hope to arrive at our destination.