Emotional Support

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Give yourself a medal whether or not you win the Grand Prix. Give yourself credit for your motivation, determination, and tenacity in going through an IVF cycle. You need to find every way possible to nurture and stroke yourself and your relationship.
One of the positive sides of infertility is that most couples improve their marriages and become stronger as a couple. Keep a sense of humor about your experiences. No matter how tough things get, you can always find something funny about it. Laughing together is good for your mental health and the health of your relationship.
Most of all, remember the love and respect you have each other – and that you have tried your best.
This is the ninth and final installment in a series of articles entitled “The IVF Race.” Read the rest of the articles in this series for suggestions in helping you finish the IVF race feeling like a champion, no matter where you place.
Previous articles from this series:
The IVF Race: A Grand Prix
The IVF Race: Maps & Terrains
The IVF Race: The Racing Team
The IVF Race: The Plan
The IVF Race: The Schedule
The IVF Race: Coping
The IVF Race: Goal Markers
The IVF Race: Bumps & Detours
Contributed by: 
Sharon N. Covington, MSW, LCSW-C
Director, Psychological Support Services

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The most successful Grand Prix drivers prepare for bumps in the road or detours along the route. To finish this IVF race, you should also plan for possible changes and difficult times during your cycle – such as the waiting period after transfer and the day you will get the results. Expect the unexpected, as changes are frequently made in the cycle because of everyone’s unique medical situation. There are possibilities for failure at every step of the cycle, from an unacceptable clinical history to possible pregnancy loss.
The two-week waiting period between transfer and receiving the results of the pregnancy test is often described as the most difficult part of the cycle. You need to plan to keep busy, find ways to pamper yourself, and use your support system for dealing with the feelings. You will also need to consider where you will be when you receive the results (probably not at work) and whether you want to hear the news together.
To allow some time to deal with the results, you may want to consider fibbing to family and friends by saying that you will not be hearing the results until a few days after the results are actually in. Realize that if you are unsuccessful in achieving a pregnancy, you cannot get away from the sadness, loss, and disappointment that are part of the grieving process.
Finally, know that you did everything possible to have a positive outcome, and that a failure in the cycle does not mean that you are a failure.
This is the eighth installment in a series of articles entitled “The IVF Race.” Read the rest of the articles in this series for suggestions in helping you finish the IVF race feeling like a champion, no matter where you place.
Previous articles from this series:
The IVF Race: A Grand Prix
The IVF Race: Maps & Terrains
The IVF Race: The Racing Team
The IVF Race: The Plan
The IVF Race: The Schedule
The IVF Race: Coping
The IVF Race: Goal Markers
Additional articles in this series:
The IVF Race: Credit for Completion
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The IVF Race: Credit for Completion

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The IVF Race: Credit for Completion

Contributed by: 
Sharon N. Covington, MSW, LCSW-C
Director, Psychological Support Services

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Just as a race car driver plans his strategy by goal makers along the raceway, it is important for you to be looking ahead as you prepare for IVF – and to consider your limits as you begin the process. Think about the number of cycles you are willing to be involved in infertility treatment.
Look ahead to the end of the cycle and have a plan about what you will do if you are not successful at this time. Remember, that with each cycle new information is learned and that it helps knowing what you will do next.
Consider exploring other family building options – such as adoption – which will give you some control and provide information for future decision making.
This is the seventh installment in a series of articles entitled “The IVF Race.” Read the rest of the articles in this series for suggestions in helping you finish the IVF race feeling like a champion, no matter where you place.
Previous articles from this series:
The IVF Race: A Grand Prix
The IVF Race: Maps & Terrains
The IVF Race: The Racing Team
The IVF Race: The Plan
The IVF Race: The Schedule
The IVF Race: Coping
Additional articles in this series:
The IVF Race: Bumps & Detours
The IVF Race: Credit for Completion
Contributed by: 
Sharon N. Covington, MSW, LCSW-C
Director, Psychological Support Services

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Grand Prix drivers know what helps them drive their best during the race. You, too, will need to identify coping mechanisms that will assist you as an individual and as a couple in dealing with the stress of IVF. Know your own and your partner’s styles for dealing with stress – and what has helped you both to cope in the past.
For example, women may need to talk and receive support from others; while men may prefer to be involved in a an activity or hobby to cope. Learning how to accept differences in the way each of you handles and deals with your feelings can reduce conflict.
In addition, consistent exercise is one of the best ways to alleviate feelings of stress, anxiety, and depression. Stress management classes – as well as listening to relaxation tapes regularly – can also aide in handling the feelings couples experience during IVF.
This is the sixth installment in a series of articles entitled “The IVF Race.” Read the rest of the articles in this series for suggestions in helping you finish the IVF race feeling like a champion, no matter where you place.
Previous articles from this series:
The IVF Race: A Grand Prix
The IVF Race: Maps & Terrains
The IVF Race: The Racing Team
The IVF Race: The Plan
The IVF Race: The Schedule
Additional articles in this series:
The IVF Race: Goal Markers
The IVF Race: Bumps & Detours
The IVF Race: Credit for Completion
Contributed by: 
Sharon N. Covington, MSW, LCSW-C
Director, Psychological Support Services

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In preparation for the IVF race, you should clear your calendar. To help eliminate any unnecessary stress, you will want to make your life as simple as possible. This is not a time to make important decisions or changes in your life, such as a move or a job change.
If at all possible, avoid major undertakings at work which can add stress to your life. In addition, you will want to think about how to deal with other daily stresses at home, and with family and friends. Consider asking others to accept extra responsibilities that you usually take care of. Remind yourself that it’s fine to say “no” to new requests for your time or participation.
By eliminating outside stress – and focusing on what is most important – you will feel more in control of your life during the IVF race.
This is the fifth installment in a series of articles entitled “The IVF Race.” Read the rest of the articles in this series for suggestions in helping you finish the IVF race feeling like a champion, no matter where you place.
Previous articles from this series:
The IVF Race: A Grand Prix
The IVF Race: Maps & Terrains
The IVF Race: The Racing Team
The IVF Race: The Plan
Additional articles in this series:
The IVF Race: Coping
The IVF Race: Goal Markers
The IVF Race: Bumps & Detours
The IVF Race: Credit for Completion
Contributed by: 
Sharon N. Covington, MSW, LCSW-C
Director, Psychological Support Services

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In the Grand Prix, you must plan your trip before you leave the starting line. In the IVF race, it’s especially important to anticipate decisions that may occur ahead of time. Sometimes, these decisions may have moral and religious implications for you which you will need to consider and discuss.
You will need to decide how many embryos will be transferred – in order to maximize your chances for pregnancy – while minimizing the possibility of multiple babies. You will also need to decide what you will do with extra eggs and/or embryos, such as whether to freeze, dispose, or donate them.
If there is a possibility that donor gametes (sperm or egg) may be used during the cycle, it is important that you carefully discuss the issues involved in raising a donor-conceived child before the cycle. Decisions with lifelong implications should not be made impulsively, or at a stressful time, such as after retrieval. Counseling can assist you in exploring these issues.
This is the fourth installment in a series of articles entitled “The IVF Race.” Read the rest of the articles in this series for suggestions in helping you finish the IVF race feeling like a champion, no matter where you place.
Previous articles from this series:
The IVF Race: A Grand Prix
The IVF Race: Maps & Terrains
The IVF Race: The Racing Team
Additional articles in this series:
The IVF Race: The Schedule
The IVF Race: Coping
The IVF Race: Goal Markers
The IVF Race: Bumps & Detours
The IVF Race: Credit for Completion
Contributed by: 
Sharon N. Covington, MSW, LCSW-C
Director, Psychological Support Services

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